I found a Narcotics Anonymous book today I felt a gravitational pull towards it. It was sitting on the free books shelf and I had to take it.
I have never been addicted to narcotics, nor will I ever be. I’ve done my fair share but always well within reason.
That program, even not being an addict, has had such an impact in my life. I grew up with tons of “aunts” and “uncles” in NA, because that’s who my dad surrounded himself with. After his journey to getting clean they became his family and mine. My earliest childhood memories are halloween parties and picnics with my extended family. My favorite presents were always books and candy from the NA family. When I made the cheerleading team and got straight A’s, they were the people cheering me on and rewarding me.
It’s easy for people from the outside to be skeptical and judge NA members as crackheads, fiends, etc. But to me they are family.
Sadly, I have a terrible relationship with my father that even NA couldn’t help. No amount of meetings or expressing feelings will repair the damage he did even after being an addict. I hope that by reading the 12 steps I can better understand his struggle and why he is the man he became. I hope to learn from the steps and grow to be a better person. I hope that someday someone asks me why I have an NA book on my shelf and I can proudly say I grew up as an NA child.